Dear Donny, I've recently purchased a motorcycle with a sidecar. I know this sounds more like a dream instead of a problem, but it's caused quite a headache between my spouse Regina and I. Regina is quite a strong and voluptuous woman. I feel she should ride in the sidecar, but she definitely feels she should be the one clutching and throttling. This is a very difficult situation for me, as Regina doesn't even have a motorcycle license. I've tried to remind her of this, but she's having none of it. She's even threatened to withhold her dangerous curves. What should I do? Signed, Eugene Worstein Winnipeg, Manitoba Dear Eugene, Sell the bike, but keep the sidecar. You'll make her so jealous. -Donny Dear Donny, My husband recently purchased a motorcycle complete with a sidecar. I feel this purchase completely blew the household budget wide-open. We were saving up for a trip to Aruba, but I guess that'll have to wait. How could he be so insensitive to my needs? Signed, Regina Worstein Winnipeg, Manitoba Dear Regina, The shimmer of a brand new sidecar has blinded many a man, so I wouldn't take it personal. My suggestion to you is - sell your body, take the trip, partake in danger walking, and learn how to play the cello. You'll make him so jealous. -Donny Dear Donny, After my weekly racket-ball game, I noticed several lumps in my bathing suit area. My friends laughed and chided me. It wasn't so much the laughing, but the chiding of 'what are you smuggling? Berries?' I would like to think that this was a play on words -my name's Barry- but they reassured me that they were talking about testicles. My girlfriend Michelle said that my motorcycle saddle probably caused the lumps. I trust Michelle's advice, she is in grade 12 you know, but I still worry what my friends think. Donny, my question is - do you think that the chiding was a masked testicular cancer intervention, or do you think that they were just being flamboyant nimrods? Signed, Barry Rossi Via email Dear Barry, Flamboyant and nimrod are words that should never be combined, let alone spoken. Forget the nut-check - get a thesaurus - you flamboyant nimrod. -Donny