Subway Sandwich Spokesman Pushing Chocolate Diet? Jared A. Fogle, known to most as "The Subway Sandwich Guy" was rushed to hospital in the early hours of Sunday January 26th after suffering from what doctors have labeled as severe malnutrition. Eye witness' revealed that Fogle, 23, was seen collapsing in the parking lot of a local Indiana strip-mall at around 10am. The University of Indiana student, who has received high praise for losing almost 200lbs., on what he has referred to as the "Subway Diet", had made several purchases at Pharmacy World minutes prior to his breakdown. A mall security guard, who was first on the scene, confirmed that among Fogle's purchases were aloe rash cream, toilet paper and several boxes of chocolate flavored Ex-lax diuretics. Doctors confirmed that these same diuretics were also discovered in large portions within the sandwich spokesperson's stomach. It is unknown how long he had been abusing the stool softeners, but what is known is that Fogle's nutrient levels were far below those of a healthy human male. When contacted for comment, Chris Carroll, the Director of Marketing for the Sandwich chain offered only that, "We are saddened by this unfortunate turn of events. Our hearts go out to Jared and his family. He is part of our family, and we will do everything in our power to help him." Clay Henry, Subway's other commercial spokesperson, had a different outlook on his fallen comrade. "I knew it! That bastard! It's guys like him that give guys like Clay a bad name. Cheaters. Any fat pig off that street can eat laxatives until they're white in the face. But it takes a real man like Clay to not only set a plan in motion, but follow it." Henry, who unsettlingly continued referring to himself in the third person, said he was suspicious of Fogle in December during a commercial shoot which pegged booth health guru's engaged in a vicious sandwich-eating contest. "Jared kept stuffing something in his mouth, then quickly scurrying out of the room. When Clay looked in the garbage can, it was full of chocolate wrappers. Clay just thought he was snacking on the side, you know, a quick fix. But the more Clay thinks about it, the more Clay recalls Jared spending an awful long time in the bathroom. The production assistants seemed to be restocking the toilet paper in his trailer on almost an hourly basis." No word on whether or not the aforementioned commercial will be released. Fogle remains in stable condition and should be released later this week.