Movie Review C.H.U.D. III With the renewed popularity of the teen scream flick & capitalizing on the terrifying, yet obligatory hairy-ass shot, 80's horror mogul Vestron Video & New World Pictures have decided to diversify from their 'laser disc only' corporate mantras and shift their focuses back to the production of d-movies* (at least until laser discs make their triumphant return). Vestron's starting point, as rumoured on Around Town, will be the optioning of C.H.U.D. III. And for those of you who remember the C.H.U.D saga, you will finally be able to fulfill your dream of the trilogy. Ugly? Slobbering? Ferocious? Carnivores? You better believe it! The newest installment revisits the notion of the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller. We pick up where the first episode left off just after we found out that C.H.U.D., in fact, stood for Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal. So where does that leave us for this sequel? Not wanting to disrupt C.H.U.D.'s original formula, and disregarding C.H.U.D II as a separate filmmaking zenith, New World Pictures was hard-pressed to find another acronym utilizing the same letters. What they came up with was a surprise casting call that will undoubtedly change the movie world forever - Charlie Huddy. Without being too much of a spoiler, Charlie Huddy is a garbage man working for a Urban Disposal outfit during the day, and by night he is a courageous superhero investigating a series of bizarre murders in New York City that seem to point to a group of grotesquely deformed vagrants living in an apartment complex - which will feature the cast of Friends. The casting or Mr. Rooter as the arch villain will at first confuse the audience; but once we learn that C.H.U.D. actually stands for Charlie Huddy's Unpenetrable D, we will at once understand why he had so much trouble flushing toilets. However, rest assured that Charlie Huddy's Unpenetrable D has a double meaning. In this case, it is also a reference to his unpenetrable defense from his Stanley Cup wins with the Oilers. You couldn't get around this guy; you couldn't even get close to this guy; in fact, New World Pictures can't even find him to start production. Another Around Town rumour has placed Charlie Huddy as the hired bodyguard of Bin Laden, John Connor, & Animal Chin. Yes, he's that good. The FBI has no chance against a Stanley Cup Veteran, and neither does the box office. Vestron & New World Pictures have high expectations for this film. Demographics are looking healthier than ever, and Charlie Huddy is looking as strapping as ever - even more than he did in his audition tape entitled "Battle of the Bulge". And because of that unpenetrable D**, the studio has projected that C.H.U.D. III will overtake their previous money leader Leonard Part 6. *a type of movie shot on microfiche revolving around either unflushable dumps or unrapeable inmates (normally played by Tiny 'Zeus' Lister) **Charlie Huddy didn't have to wear a jock for a single game in his NHL career