Donny, I'm confused. Ever since I moved in to my new house, my neighbour constantly harrasses me when I'm doing yardwork. He says things like, "You want a knuckle sandwich?" So last week I obliged, but here's where it gets freaky. I thought he was going to punch my face, but instead he led me into his basement where I observed the following inexplicable phenomenon: on one side of the room, the Iron Sheik was issuing a camel clutch while shaving, and Joe Camel was eating a roast beef sandwich, and on the other side, Sho Kosugi was playing boot hockey while Patrick Swayze was removing his pants with paint thinner (that's how he got the nickname "Black Dog"). What does this all mean? Signed, Cody Beachworth Sackville, NB Cody, so did you eat it or what? -Donny Donny, I was born with a very noticeable birth defect that's kind of hard for me to talk about. You see, Donny, I was born with a Red Lobster Bib on. Apparently, this was quite shocking to both my parents & the doctor. And I'm told, it is, without a doubt, the first recorded Red Lobster Bib birth ever - like the logo is perfect man. I'm wearing it right now. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'm a little leery about taking it off - ever. The only time it ever looks weird would be when I wear a tuxedo 'cause I look like I'm about to dive into some serious seafood. Well, it probably doesn't look that normal when I'm having sex either (the woman tends to think I get sloppy). So what do you think? Is this some kind of a marketing plot 'cause I don't remember my own birth (I've seen pictures of the doctor's reaction though)? Red Lobster's cool though right? Signed, Bo Svenson Mayo, YT Bo, Turn the bib around and make it a cape. -Donny NOTE: Donny will not be accepting any further questions relating to lobsters ever. Donny, Over the past five years, I have become an accomplished parlour magician. I'm more of a Harry Anderson than a David Copperfield, but I do specialize in disappearances & parlour metamorphosis? Do you have any recommendations on how to escape the frilly blouse perception of magicians? Signed, John Brasington Winnipeg, MN John, I've seen your show. Stop changing all of the Black Panthers into White Tigers you racist. However, I'm still baffled as to how you changed Danny Devito into Webster & Benson into Mr. Belvedere or was it the other way around? And you wanna lose the frilly blouse perception - stop using the word 'parlour'. -Donny