Steamer Becomes Ghost Dump: The Movie Confident that Steamer will be the number one rated reality show in its fall lineup, ABC is plowing ahead with plans to release Ghost Dump: The Movie. The Film will chronicle the existential crisis of a non-wiping dump and will be filmed entirely in a Carl Jr's bathroom. It appears that Patrick Swayze will play the role of Vladimir Estragon - the young junior night manager - who agonizes over the existence of the log before him, and the non-existence of poo remnants on his toilet paper; and, Jet Li as the senior night shift manager stuck in the stall next to him. Ghost Dump promises moviegoers Swayzesque inner dialogue, like: 'If the poo doesn't exist, then I don't exist'; and 'If I don't exist, then is that really Jet Li in the stall beside me, and if he isn't in the stall beside me, would that make him in the toilet bowl beneath me? Is Jet Li the shit?' Whereas Jet Li's lines will be completely limited to 'Do it' and 'Yippy Kai-Yah Mr. Falcone.' Despite Swayze and Li never having worked together - with some wondering if the on-screen chemistry would be too contrived - executives still green-lighted the $100 million dollar special effect bonanza, because they hoped to cash in on the newly created Pan-African market. But if forecasts don't hold true, meaning, they don't get the Pan-Afro market, they'll at least be able to recoup their costs in a North American niche hungry for more Caucasian and Asian pairings (e.g. as noted in the recent box office success of movies like: They call me Bruce; They Still call me Bruce, and Bruce Almighty). Industry insiders expect Ghost Dump to be da bomb and predict that it will easily beat the North American box-office record currently held by Bringing Down The House.