Harvard Undergrads Incorporate Street Slang Into Their Everyday Dialect "Don't you know I'm handing in my essay titled Latin America: A Macro Economic Look at a Micro-Economic Problem (The Rick Moranis Model), Essa?" as told to Nick Gonder, professor of Rick Moranics, by a first year Moranic student. Increasingly, students were using street slang to get a across a valid point in their first year Moranics class, which in the eyes of Gonder diminished their valid point or points relating to Moranics. Nick Gonder, a player by most standards*, was able to let it slide most of the time, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore. In order to get a grasp on the epidemic, Nick devised a poll to divine the essence of the students slang usage. It took 6 years to agree on the type of questions and procure the necessary government funding. Finally the poll was complete. Gonder and his team hit the campus and quickly rounded up an adequate sample group, mainly one Stuart Wallace. When polled, Stuart felt that using slang made him feel tougher, but when faced with a clarification on the wording of the first poll question, it was unclear if it actually made him tougher than leather. In the one-on-one interview phase Stuart Wallace busted the cap off the brutal honesty jar. In fact, just a short while later, Stuart Wallace brought the house down when he said that he was dropping science. Unfortunately, Stuart had to drop out of science 3 months later due to failing marks. In the post interview, Mr. Wallace explained that the reasoning behind his science dropping was that he was being persecuted for his blackness (for the record he's not black) and that the curriculum was inherently biased against him and his people, or peeps as he and his friend Todd like to refer to each other as. Unlike Stuart's science experience, the poll was wildly successful. In fact, Gonder assumed a role of pseudo-celebrity and embarked on a whirlwind tour of the campus lecture circuit. In a short time, Gonder's findings became part of the curriculum, under the new name of Ebonics. Yes, Gonder be da founder of Ebonics^. * Gonder is not associated with the NHLPA or Pro Player's stadium, which in essence would not make him a player by those standards. ^ Even though Gonder's findings spawned the exciting new field of Ebonics, he wanted to make it clear that his first love will always be Moranics.